to those that have been worrying...i'm sorry for lapsing back into that mode again..
sometimes it seems that i almost succeeded in breaking free before i get ensnarled into the the webs and tangles..

it realli hurts to know that one is always the spare..
the one to occupy the whismical moments that others have...
the last to know or merely to account for the numbers n all...
the feeling truly stinks..

i dun understand why some ppl find it such a hassle to be decent to others...
i mean why the hell do others utilize others for their own personal benefits..
n i just simply hate it when others only tink of u cuz there is noone else to entertain them..
like wat the hell...
i realli dun tink i deserve this sort of treatment at all...

i've lost count the number of times i have been disappointed in u..
the way how u treat ppl without much of a care when they r of lil use to u..
sometimes it does make mi so sick to see who u r..
n yet sometimes i feel tt it cant it so bad rite?...
when u prove mi wrong once again...

how many times can i choose to appear ignorant or indifferent..
how many times do i hv to lie to myself in bid to make myself feel better...

i should have ended it when it was in my favour rather than allowing myself to be persuaded tt things might realli change for the better... or for everything to remain as it was...
how naive i was..
now its according to ur terms again...
but honestly...i deserve better..
i know for sure that i always approach any type of relationship with a heart sincere and true without thoughts of manipulating ppl to do my wants..

damn...i'm so tired of explaining myself.. its true..someone mentioned that i havent been happy for a long while...n i've been in this mode for like the longest time... i know that its not healthy to be always like that...

sometimes i wonder to myself how empty the words were spoken or how cheap the promises seem to be when they came fr u..cuz everything was a lie...a big fat lie...which i actually believed..taking in all the words u said and rem them.. but they meant nothing at all.. absolutely worthless pieces of crap..

for my sake.. i've decided this is it...
i cant go on forever n be stuck at this damn stage..
i need to move on and get on with life..
even if it means cutting u out of it..
hopefully after time i'll forget evrything n in the future feel nothing much for u..
i need the stabilty and sanity back in my life..
cuz i dun wan to be taken as a fool which u always made mi feel..

there are too many grievances between us to even set the record straight..
n honestly i dun tink i want to do that at all..
cuz its too tiring and i tink u'll not even be able to see fr my point of view...
cuz u always thought u were right..
it's just frustrating and pretty pointless to carry on fr here.

Florence