.....................................

its a sat...
a couple more of days and sch is starting again....
i never got a chance to tell u tis...
i always thought that u were so strong...
even in moments of weaknesses and periods of pain...
u held up...
u might feel that u have failed in evry aspect of ur life...
but when i look at u..
i realli dun tink so..
the road has been rough for u..
and i got to admit...it sometimes its the same for mi...
in many ways we r similiar and yet in many ways we differ so much...
i have lost much during this life..
and i dun wan the same to happen to u..
mayb that explains this impluse post dedicated to u..

i know what u mean abt the shadows of the night...
the creeping of niggling doubts and flashes of the past...
the pain u feel when u start tearing...
the hollowness and emptiness tt threatens to consume u...
u're not alone.

and u will never be.
u hear me?!
some seek comfort in stuffed toys, others turn to drinks, while some resort to more drastic means....
pls pls pls dun choose the last option...
that should not cross ur mind...
though sometimes the lure is so great...
it just seems easier to end it all
it aint worth it gal...
i came to realise it the hard way...
it wont change a damn thing...
cuz eventually...the hole within u will jus continue festering and eating u up...

i'm sorrie that i have been too caught up with the swirl of events ard mi..
that i failed to notice wat was going on in ur life...
i noe wat u mean by the theory of being No 1....
lately i have been comtemplating abt that too...
i used to feel unjustified abt not being No 1. while i foolishly gave that titlement to a couple of ppl....
and because of tis many issues arose..
i wasnt being truthful abt many things...choosing to deliberately ignore them..
cuz somehow it seemed easier and less painful...
but eventually...
the only person who got hurt will only b urself.
For one,how the hell could they even understand what u're going thru when they dun exactly give a friggin fig....

right now, u're probably confused and hurt from everything that has been hurled at u...
take some time off and decide wat u want in life...
dun make the same mistake as i did..
dun let ur heart rule ur head..
evrything will just be as screwed as ever..
n u will feel so resigned and defeated...

i have many regrets in life...
but one of my greatest regrets was ..........
hmmm... i cant tink of which one should be first..
but anyways thats not the pt...
the pt is i just want u to noe...
there is always someone ard...
dun feel that u have to evolve and play the role u're expected to..
just open urself and embrace the most predominant u...
the fear of not being acccepted and loved is not unfounded..
but there's no need to fear the unknown...

i realli should start practisin wat i preach...
i've got so much to learn..
and we'll walk thru tis journey together ya!

Florence