a lot of things have happened during this period of time...
thinking abt stuff...trying to take time off(without much success)...
the problem with mi is i tink too damn much..
abt every darn thing...
now i rem why i dun exactly approve of ppl who intentionally lies..n keep others on a leash for selfish reasons...it is jus too similiar to my own experience...n trust mi its not a great feeling knowing u're a spare tyre that is not taken seriously..
its so strange..
tt reading my fren's blog evoke so much memories...
the de ja vu feeling of being an outside is more n more apparent...
the feeling of neglect and resentment is bubblin...

i shouldnt feel this way..and yet i cant seem to help it..
i'm tired of finding excuses...
i'm tired of being treated like a punch bag when i noe i dun deserve it...
i'm tired of being at the beck and call of others...

and i'm actually quite serious abt goin away...
and cutting all ties with everyone...
then mayb during the period of time when i'm gone...
i can have the space to grow, be independent n mature
ppl will learn to appreciate mi better and not take mi and wateva i do for granted
u noe sometimes its jus so so hard to keep up the facade..

on a lighter note
went to holland v on sat with jac n yiren
i tink tt its only this time tt i start seeing him in a diff light..
he's actually quite funny n he has seen one of the sides tt i was always carefully not to reveal...
n for goodness sake i didnt pat my burger!
i do stoopid stuff when i'm high... can evryone jus forget abt wat i did
i swear i'm usually quite normal most of time!

sch's ending..
initially i thought that this six weeks would be a real pain...
but surprising it wasnt as tough as i imagined..
sometimes i do feel a tad sad when i see u..
for all that was lost n most of all for urself..
if i had another chance in life...
one of the things i would want to do
will be to end it in a much "cleaner" way..
sometimes i wonder r u thick or do u jus intentionally pretend not to read in btw the lines..

i for one dun give a damn abt sch work at all... dun tell mi in all the yrs we were frens u still didnt noe tt...
i jus realised tt it doesnt hurt like before...
but there again..
i cant feel anymore...

Florence