its funny...
how i'm sitting in front of the com...when i'm suddenly being overwhelmed by feelings of sadness..n jadedness...
i'm so tired of trying to b strong...
of putting a mask that doesnt reflect wat i feel...
of telling myself nothing matters..
of trying to stem the emotions that i should feel...
of feelin so constraited and suffocatin
even breathin seems to b a chore
of trying to kid myself that i'm strong enough to handle it...

i realli do hope that the tears will come in torrents...
at least it might wash away the pain n anguish i feel..
mayb then i can start to heal n learn go of all the hurt...
to forgive
n use my entire lifetime to erase the memories of u...

its hurting so much that...
curling into a tight ball on the bed doesnt ease the pain...
bitching for hours doesnt lighten the hurt felt
staring into the space into wee hours of the morn when the mind refuses to b shut down....
leaning on the shoulders of close buds doesnt bring comfort...

i realli jus wan to sleep for a long long long time.....

Florence