~a believer of silly notions in life~

i dunno wat was the reason but i had this urge to read a fren's blog..n i stumbled onto an entry..which happened to b written on the death aniversary of my grandfather..

did i ever mention that i'm a sucker for notions of fate n destiny?..well that could b the reason why we became frens?!..in fact this few days i keep tinking abt the past..wat happened btw us n all... i was bloody tempted to write everything down..more like an outpouring of emotions n everything penned up inside...its the same idea of writing the book..a form of release..n i was tinking r frenships meant to b this difficult?!...throughout my life i have always been experiencing bad frenships with others...n sometimes when things r rough..i jus cant stop myself fr tinking..is there a problem with me instead?!... i honestly swear to god that i have no freaking idea..

n yes i do noe that at times i'm too indulgent with oneself...but not exactly to the pt that its all abt mi ba...am i realli that bad?!man i had no idea...absolutely no idea that evrything started because of me?!!serious?... i'm sorry truely sorry that i had n still have no idea wat started the entire damn thing... at times i realli want to b honest abt how i feel n yet the reason that holds mi back fr confessing is the warped perception that i noe u cant deal with it.. sometimes i wonder is it because i sorta noe ur character n how u will deal when certain stuff is told to u...

we r finally goin to meet a second time since hols started..mayb its the time to b brutally honest..its so darn easy to say..but perhaps when it comes to the crunch i'll b at a lost where to start n all...i dun even noe whether should i continue to keep it within or tell it to u.. cuz the thought of awkwardness n being uncomfortable with one other in the future is an extremely great deterrent...

~fuck...wat the hell am i supposed to do?..~

Florence