its funny...

nite of a sat..erhm i tink its 8th aug la


dun u tink so..sometimes i see reflections of myself in ppl..n its jus plain ironic at wat i did then jus to hold on..mayb its a vicious ycle..how humans wan to hold on to somethings that seems impossible n will come to naught...i used to wonder sometimes did i do anything wrong to deserve it..n question why all my efforts have gone down the drain instead of flourishin...n today i noe the ans to the very questions.. wat has gone is gone..no matter how hard u try to deceive urself to say its okie...but deep down inside..its not...the feelin of jadedness is always lingerin there refusin to budge..n honestly..the word "being a substitute" jus comes to mind...am i one?! is it cuz i tend to b easygoin thats y i'm taken for granted?..that its assumed to b that..n that is th end of the story...full-stop?! i dunno...i met some realli nice ppl who r willingly to do anythin for others..n some tt r elusive n hard to figure..i hate the latter kinds..cuz i'm jus damn tired of wonderin...

why now?!the time when i placed such high hopes n it was jus repeatedly being dashed down naively tinkin that i can n will b able to withstand its test...but i crumbled..i couldnt find it within mi to behave like in the past..how do u expect mi to react?! i jus cant bring myself to forget the past cuz those were lessons learnt..n now i see it being replayed..i realli dunno wat else to say..mayb my sense of self-protection is up to the nines...being hurt then was enough n i dun wan to go thru it again..so pardon mi for drawin that invisible line cuz it has become a necessity..its sad for it to end up tis way..to b wat it has come to be..n yet it will b like tt till i find it in mi to totally let go..which at present its still hard to ignore when those scenes are constantly repeated in my mind..


~i hope to find peace~

Florence