its been an emotional rollercoaster for the past few days..ppl who were online...probbaly knew since nicks realli kinda reflects how i feel for the moment..i mean some ppl knew..while some were probably clueless..
its not that i'm accusin anyone..mayb its the combination of the lack of sleep, deadlines n the awkwardness/driftnes..(if there is such a word ) that took its toll on mi..myab its true..i have to learn to b emotionally stronge..mayb i'm not strong enough..mayb i dun give enough..mayb i'm not good enough..well mayb i'm jus plain insufficient in evrythin..in sch i'm pretty fine jus tt sometimes i space out thinkin abt it..see darn good actress rite?..i dun realli go ard whinnin or bitchin abt issues tt bother mi..a great deal..isnt that strong enough..?!..mayb i shouldnt even entertain such thoughts..and jus tink to myself the world is so nice n beautiful...yeah rite as if..situations change..so do ppl..dun say things cuz they r free..it hurts to realise tt at the end of it all..u r still left alone to deal with evrythin...well today was weird..correction past few days hv been weird..i actually feel my soul soothe over the smallest thing said..sometimes i wonder "is it so diff to make mi happie" "is cuz of the diff in expectations/ the simply the ppl's character...i dun need much honestly..jus wan to b constantly assured tt i exist n play a role..now that is askin for too much isnt it..?..to tink tt while i was tearin last nite ppl whom i didnt expect came to ask mi if i was ok..n jus comforted mi in their own ways..n that only served to highlight the stark constrast...i muz learn to b content with nothing..only then i wont feel so hurt..in fact i dun realli like to tell ppl wat is botherin mi..no pt..dun ask or do it for the sake of obligation cuz i rather it came fr the heart..truely..i missed mi..the old mi..the one that was whole..not this version which is shattered with some pieces missin..noone can understand how it feels..the trust broken..no matter how u try to b impartial..it veers..sad isnt it..

but its ok...feelin a lot better jus because of the few sentences i heard today..i will be fine as usual..so is tt emotionally strong enough for u?!

~missin pieces r lost forever~

Florence