~reminicin~

afternoon of 14th SeP

jus found out last nite wat bsea meant abt happen to chance upon jac's blog...cuz i sorta acciendently went to other ppl whom i hv no idea who r they la...i noe its like an intrusion to their privacy but i jus couldnt help scollin down to read more...some realli immature enteries,some absolutely fascinatin,tis guy whose entire blog was abt booze,sex n parties of cuz in the US la tis woman blog was so heartfelt that i felt sadness for her though i tink its kinda of her fault to!!ya in a nutshell jus amazin...

i guess after lastnite i finally realised somethin so fundamental..i dunno y i didnt c it before mayb it was because i was blinded..n that clouded my jugdement..to those close to mi i tink u all should noe whom i'm referin to...i hv always liked him since i laid eyes on him(dun ask mi y la)...mayb too much for my own gd..n still liked him despite knowin the treacherous fact he was attached to "his angel" but i noe for sure i meant nothin to him at all...ya absolutely nothing...nil,emptiness,zilich...*anguish in heart*..ya....made mi tink a lot last nite...startin to doubt myself..am i normal..??n to my surprise i found myself askin "jiemei"a particular qns...which his ans shocked mi...very shocked!!! oh my god addy i tink u're physic...n i can jus say thank god "jiemei" is attached liao ~phew~breathes out in relief!!.....
actually dunno y i will ask such a qns...tink it will b a long time in the future before i even tink abt gettin attached...cheers to singlehood! hahaha

was so lookin forward to wild2wet so that i'll b too busy havin fun ..so i wont b tinkin abt the past...ya but guess wat the freakin place is closed today DAmN to tink i was so hyped up despite the weird com...so in the end no outin jus slacked abt at hm...hmmm....tinkin abt it i tink wat my sister said made sense... i tink i'm like that today because of wat happened...though i brush it aside like it didnt realli affect mi...but the truth was i can vividly rem evrythin...the hurt,shock,tautin.....in clear detail..mayb thats y the scars in my heart wont b healed with time...
i hate the fact i was a victim...y the hell i didnt stand up for myself??y did i put up with all the shit??haiz but its too late to change the past..but at least it made mi realise my intense loathin for BOYS yes immature ones...those that hurt others intentionally for the fun of it,because others were doin the same ....did they even pause to tink???..... u tink a "sorrY"can erase the dark shadows?i dun tink so...

~psychological scars will never b healed...~

Florence